playing with fire.
"Addiction starts from a person's search for God..."
i attended this media workshop today held my Campus Crusade called "porn nation". it basically addressed the fact that the world is becoming more and more into a "nation of porn", how we idolize sex by abusing it, expliciting it, and playing nievely with it. i don't want to go into too much detail about this specific topic, but i learned alot of things on a more general scale.
one things for sure, you've probably heard people say: if what i do doesn't hurt anyone or influence anyone negatively, it's ok to do. i don't think people fully understand the indirect affects of addiction, whatever it may be. even if no one knows about what youre doing, it WILL affect others - in the long run. the man that came in today realized that his addiction was so serious, he realized he couldn't control it anymore - to a point where his wife and 2 sons left him after a 15 year marrage. something so small, so secret, something that you wouldn't think wouldn't hurt anyone..grew into such a problem that it costed him his freedom, salvation, and integrity. it slowly killed him inside because he kept getting high off of it, not knowing how to stop it, being a prisoner.
"what you feed will grow. what you starve will die."
sick world isn't it? billions of dollars is spend on the sex industry every year, 3 billion alone spent on child pornography. sick eh? and year after year, those numbers will just keep increasing unless someone puts a stop to it. For the guy who shared his testimony, the more he kept feeding his problem (by exposing himself through the internet, cable TV, magazines..) the bigger his problem grew- leading eventually to an affair with another woman while he was married with 2 kids. He allowed himself to be a slave of unpure desires. being obsessed with this, his entire life revolved around this god. porn ran his life. it fed him, satisfied him, left him wanting more, and secretly killed him - until he became suicidal.
i hate to say this, but this story im sure is common amongst many ppl today. and it kills me to see people throwing so much away because they can't put up a fight.
looking at our own lives, we build idols and our own gods. im sure it may not be this extreme (maybe it is for some), but its all the same, isn't it? self-evaluation: what does my life revolve around? what are my drives? what are my desires?
i don't think topics such as these should be so "taboo". i think people should address these problems instead of ignoring it or pushing it aside. create awareness you know? then maybe we'll start getting somewhere.
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<3 js
recovery.
i think what happend last fri night was incredibly..i can't even start to describe it. it was terrrible, but much needed. i've never experienced soo much emotion and brokenness in soo long..something i never would've thought i'd ever have to deal with or experience. (and no, im not talking about anything along the lines of sex- just to clear up any misconceptions! haha..i don't sleep and tell...actually i don't sleep around PERIOD. ..)
anyway all jokes aside!..it revealed so much that it provided a chance for change and improvement.. we're recovering soo well, and we've both improved into a better person, i think. im was soo afraid that it would happen, that when it did, it was the hardest thing to accept. but thething is, im not accepting it, instead i am PUSHING for change. im soo happy with us. youre doing great, we can fight through this together. imm soooo proud and im here to support you through it all...
not too worried i must say about being in different towns for the next 12 months..and constantly off and on after that. i'll go where the wind pushes me - haha most ppl say i need it so i can become more independent.. w.e guys , i wont break..
bye jaimee
jaimee and my mom is leaving for HK this wed..!! crazy or what eh? spontaneous for sure. well anne got us incredibly cheap tickets.. $300 round trip..amazing huh? my dad couldn't go cause he's writing a government test for a certain job interview soo..he's stuck at home studying! pray that he does awesome so he could start getting into the working world again.. and also pray for my mom and jaimee for a safe trip and stufff..without my dad being around. truthfully, i'm really worried about them two, traveling half-way around the world...at least they're going with jasmine and anne and her husband.. still! i can't help but wish i could be there to take care of them and help out you know. plus, j doesn't do well on trips..im not going to be able to stop thinking about them!!
i d o n ' t w a n t t o l i v e w i t h b o y s n e x t t e r m ! = ( b o o o o
PS why am i up blogging when i have an exam tomorw morning?!
1 comments
<3 js
