gah..work today was terrible. i can't even start to explain why its soo bad. she's strict, very strict. a perfectionist, and HER way is the ONLY way. any other way is wrong and incorrect. its soo hard to have ppl be so hard on me and get upset at the littllest things. i feel that i'm looked down upon, that i don't know anything..i'm stupid in other words. she doesn't challenge me to work independently, to improve my weaknesses..but watches me like a hawk and spoon feeds me, and criticizes me and makes me feel like an insignificant spec..a Useless insignificant spec. getting mad at me at things like yawning at work, like turning on the wrong set of lights to go the basement, like not putting the cap back on the pen i'm using..like using whiteout incorrectly..?!!
it has to be done HER way. THIS is how you open the whiteout..this is how you put paper into the binder. :S i'm not exaggerating.and makes me feel sooo terrible wen i do it wrong too. like she actually makes me feel terrible and stupid wen i don't open the white out properly. it like damages my self-esteem and confidence. i just crack under the pressure sometimes..its hard to just take all the critism.critism for things you don't even understand y ur getting yelled at..and just suck it up and take it. cuz she's ur boss. and you can't talk back to her or confront her
i had lunch with my dad today..he picked me up during work..and talked to him bout how bad it was...and he was really understanding. i got to know him alot more...today just thru lunch. something i haven't done with him in ages... he was sooo understanding, something that surprised me. and he taught me alot about the work life,dealing with difficult ppl (haha) and just life in general.. i didnt'think he had that listening ear that i relly needed ... dad's are awesome. well MINE is.
i guess if my boss wasn't as strict and the perfectionist that she is..her business wouldn't where it is now. which is great.
but relly, im SOOOO incredibly thankful for the friends, family, and amazing boyfriend that loves me and relly cares truly about me. ppl that i can turn to after a horrible day of work and just borrow their shoulder to lean on. they are the ppl who has supported me through every decision i've made, the ppl who guided me through times of confusion, the ppl whose saved my butt in times in trouble. ppl that are just there for you, in the good and the bad. THEY are wut keeps me going in life. cuz God meant for us to be in RELATIONSHIP with ppl. He never meant for us to live life alone. and that I think, is one of the most comforting things to hear.
